Game one of the World Series between the Washington Nationals and the Houston Astros will begin later today at Minute Maid Park in Houston, Texas, and what better game to debut a new rule that Commissioner Rob Manfred hopes will help baseball regain the position of the United States’ most popular sport. Instead of discarding the bats after getting a hit, players will now be allowed to carry the bat with them as they round the bases. While they’ll be free to use the bat however they like while standing on base or running between bases, the strategic advantage will be the ability to incapacitate basemen.
The impetus of this new rule was Manfred’s recognition of the vacuum being created in the sports market with the NFL’s increasing concern for player safety. “The violence in the NFL is at an all-time low and decreasing season over season,” Manfred said in a statement. “The public needs some kind of outlet in order to satisfy their innate bloodlust, otherwise you get things like the Salem witch trials, the satanic panic of the 80s and 90s, or disco fever.”
Alongside the addition of violence to the game, the new bat rule should also increase scoring, as defenders struggle to combat the whirling weapons. The rule had a trial run in a Division Series game a few weeks ago, wherein the St. Louis Cardinals bashed the Atlanta Braves in a 13 to 1 victory.
The MLB may need a few seasons and some minor adjustments to the rule before taking the popularity mantle from the NFL, but hopefully the brutality can mend the nation’s growing societal animosity caused by the NFL’s abatement of savagery.
Subscribe to our weekly newsletter
Any resemblance of anything on this site to anything else
in the history of ever is purely a fabrication of your own mind. The authors
of this website are idiots. Do not rely on anything they say or write as a
guide in any useful direction in your or anyone else's lives (including