SPORTS | September 10th, 2019 10:08 AM

Just when their AFC opponents thought it couldn’t get any worse, the New England Patriots announced this morning that they have come to an agreement with Boston Dynamics to lock up their WildCat robot, the fastest quadruped robot in the world, to a 3-year, $19 million deal. The news comes on the heels of the Patriots’ Antonio Brown signing and has fans outside the New England area complaining to everyone who has already told them they don’t care about sports.

WildCat is a hometown robot with a chip on its shoulder. It’s been looking for the opportunity to prove its mettle ever since diva robots Atlas and Spot have stolen the limelight with features like cameras, arms, and the ability to traverse terrain other than perfectly flat ground with optimal friction. Sources report that the robot’s initial role will be kickoff and punt return coverage but will likely evolve to include, “any situation where it would be advantageous to have a large metal beast run at 20 miles per hour into the delicate flesh of a human.”

The signing is a huge step forward for the robotics community, as WildCat has become the first mechanical player in the NFL and is only the second mechanical NFL employee behind its new coach, Bill Belichick.