Breaking: Dung Beetles Announce Sovereign Nation

POLITICS | September 30th, 2019 8:27 AM

Today’s geopolitical stage is wrought with unpredictable phenomena, but the latest development in South America has leaders around the globe engaging in a collective spit take, because the world’s dung beetles have just declared sovereignty. We have largely ignored them for years, because let’s face it, pushing around spheres of stool is just about the quickest way you could be dismissed by the general population, but they’ve built the relatively large, technologically advanced dung society of Coprotopia. Much like Wakanda was protected behind a cloaked dome, the beetle civilization was hidden behind a wall of feces.

For millennia, dung beetles existed as three smaller, disjointed groups: the Rollers, the Tunnellers, and the Dwellers. Recently, these three communities banded together for the greater good of the Scarabaeidae family. They have staked out a small territory between the borders of Venezuela and Colombia and hope not only to find prosperity for their own culture, but also aim to bring stability to the region. If they can pull it off, they will certainly earn the respect they seek, as they wish to be considered on the same level as the world’s human nations, both politically and economically.

We can only wait to see the impact this nascent nation will ultimately bring to our planet, but Coprotopia is already leading the world’s nations in their environmental efforts, as their entire society relies solely on excrement.

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